Fragrant Gardenias and Karaoke

Sweet One,

I am three days from boarding a plane and flying halfway across the world where your life and my life will never be the same. You, at your very young age have already had many "never be the same" moments. As I get closer to meeting you and immersing myself in your country, I grow increasingly solemn and sad as to how much you have lost and when we board the plane together, how much more you are losing. I will try never to forget that. You are my son. You are someone else's son. You will be American. You are and should always be Ethiopian. I will try to savor each moment with and without you in-country so that as you can grow I can tell you all about the beautiful tapestry God has woven in this world. You will come home to a family that loves you, hot summers, a kind church, gardenia bushes, fig trees, karaoke at the campground, your sister's 4th of July birthday with fireworks, a dad who always sees the best in the world, a mom with a strong, loyal heart that seeks justice and mercy who sometimes goes overboard on Christmas decorations and who frequently sweats the small stuff, an oldest sister who is very talented with cooking and sewing who is mom to your niece and nephew who are about the right age to play with, your in-house sister who is living with multiple growing pains but who is eager to meet you, a brother who comes a few days a month and more in the summer who does not know it yet but will probably be one of your favorite people. You are leaving behind a country I cannot fully describe sight unseen but one that from what I have read, is full of strong, proud citizens, a country that has never been colonized, full of scholars and athletes, birthplace of coffee (this is important to your father as is much more). I hope I do not make either home for you a fairytale depiction - in life, there is good and bad almost everywhere you go. I hope I can capture the good while there to share until we can one day go back. I know the coming weeks will probably be terrifying for you - new people, new smells, new food and clothing, a whole new world. I promise I will do my best not to expect too much, to help you feel safe in this world. I am so honored and humbled that I get to be your mom on this journey. Just a few more things to do and I will see you soon.

mommy