1 day and filled with peace.

I am sending huge vibes of energy toward Meredith, Ryan and Stella on this day of court. I spent time in prayer yesterday for them. I so hope they get a go!

I never thought in my adult life after all the detours I would be this close...this close to being entrusted with a child by God. For about 15 years it has felt like being the last one picked for a team or not being invited to a party that everyone else was going to. I have not always dealt with these emotions with a lot of grace or class. I have been angry, bitter and sad at times. Looking back, I see that this is the where and the when and the who all rolled into one. It saddens me for the loss my little one has already endured. His eyes look weary and sad at the ripe age of 10 months. My heart hurts for him in so many ways and I want to show him that life can still be sweet. I am bungling this train of thought. I also wanted to clarify something I said in my last post. I said T was lucky and I only meant that in regard to who his daddy will be. Dave has so many gifts I do not possess and I know T will love him. In the broader scheme of things, WE are the lucky ones, the blessed ones. A lady at church gets it. Her daughter experienced infertility and things finally worked out biologically but when I told her about our adoption, her response was "what a gift" - Yep, what a gift.

24+ hours....or maybe longer. Maybe even much longer, but I hope not.

Peace